I hope you all have had a great holiday.  Mine has been mixed.

It’s a nice warm 4th of July Intendance Day here in the Valley of the Sun.  Temperatures are not supposed to climb higher than 114F at Sky Harbor airport. That means my part of the county will not have temperatures much higher than 119F.   At the moment, it is 113F, a perfect day not to go outside but instead, sit and look at my SC parked in the garage.

I got in ten whole minutes charting every inch of the surface of the SC with my eyes when my wife told me for to stop staring at “the car.”  She thinks it unseemly for a man my age to look, drool and fawn over a car.  She just doesn’t understand that a man can have a passion for a mechanical object.

To placate her, I decided to see if any coyotes were in the neighborhood.  If so, I would chase them away.  Most of the time coyotes come around at night in packs. However, lately, we have seen individual animals during daylight hours walking down the street as if they were here first and owned the block.

I have been told by the Sheriff’s Posse that it is against the law to discharge a rifle or handgun unless one is in fear of one’s life.  That means one cannot take out either a two or four legged coyote with a real weapon unless one is in fear of imminent lethal attack. 

To get around the problem of discharging a real firearm, I bought a child’s Daisy bee bee gun.  I figure to plunk a coyote with a bee bee (not a pellet) and by doing so, simply scare it away.  Besides, for heaven’s sake, no one can hear a bee bee gun go off.

I read that coyotes will only attack if provoked or when driven by hunger. This is comforting to know.  My question is how can I tell if a coyote is hungry?   Should I ask one if he or she has already eaten before I chase it with the bee bee gun?

Ten minutes after standing in the sun, I spotted a coyote near the far trees.  I unshielded the Daisy with the special telescopic scope sight that I had previously mounted on it. Next, I loaded a bunch of bee bees especially purchased for this type of confrontation.

I cocked the Daisy, charged along the uneven terrain of my backyard, crouching between the pickle shaped saguaro and the pink oleander tree.

From the corner of my eye, I spied movement and the color brown slinking between the trees. I must admit, for just one second, I had a bit of fear, yet, I knew the moment had arrived for me to take action and I steeled myself for combat.

With a yell, I flung myself forward.  My thrust sent the coyote bounding away from me. At that moment my training paid off. Executing a smooth arc with the rifle from a ground position to my shoulder, I found the animal in the cross hairs of my special telescopic sight.  I squeezed the trigger, felt slight recoil.

To my chagrin, instead of hitting the coyote, the bee bee struck another native of the region, a citrusxparadisi.  I was stunned. Instead of finding the coyote with a well placed shot, I had drilled a beautiful citrusxparadisi directly into center mass. What an ugly sight it was watching its juice spurt to the ground.

Now, that my heart has stopped pounding, I realize the hours I spent in practice, the endless lifting and aiming the Daisy; all of the time I
spent loading and unloading bee bees, were all for naught.

What had I accomplished?  Had I scared away the coyotes?  I don’t think so.  Its probably shaking with laughter at my ineptitude.

The only result of all my wasted time was that I shot a grapefruit off of a tree in my back yard.

I am going to tell my wife that this episode proves that my time is much better spent looking at my beautiful SC rather than playing Lone Ranger in the back yard.

Happy holiday to all.

Hahaha.. that was a highly entertaining read.

Please dont shoot at the coyotes though ;(

Im calling PETA

Mike, I guess you are correct.  It does seem like overkill (pun intended) to put a BSA, Bushnell or Leupold riflescope costing large bucks on a $32 Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun.  I recollect that it shoots .177-caliber BB’s.  With a muzzle velocity of 280 feet per second at a maximum distance of 195 yards I would be hard pressed to hit a moving animal sighting through a scope at short range.  Instead, I would probably hit another grapefruit or at the least, put someone’s eye out (in the same way poor Ralphie was told would happen).

We do not have a problem with crows.  I guess that the various types of hawks patrolling our community keep them away.  But, besides the coyote, there is another truly dangerous animal I have actually encountered in my own back yard, the Javalina.

Those coarse and ugly brutes love to eat grapefruit and cactus.  They make a big mess and do not take to interruptions while they feed.  To tell the truth, when I see a family or even a single one come into my yards, my bravado disappears and I stay inside.

Darn it Mike, if you don't make me want to be a kid again with a pellet gun.

When Southern California was not too populated in the mid-1930's, the vacent lots were our playgrounds.  There, we took am at anything that moved.  Sometimes we hit the target but most often, we just shot off a lot of bb's and pellets.


Here is the address for Cabelas.  This list the Red Ryder and many other bb and pellet guns.

http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/links/link.jsp?id=0011148227001a&type=product&cmCat=SEARCH&returnPage=search-results1.jsp&QueryText=red+ryder+bb+rifle&N=4887&Ntk=Products&Ntx=mode+matchall&Nty=1&Ntt=red+ryder+bb+rifle&noImage=0

Cabelas and the Bass Pro Shops are like candy stores to me.  I feel the same way about automobile dealerships and the tool departments of the old Sears stores.

Guess I never grew up!

Guys, lighten up.  It was a hot day and I had nothing to do so I penned a frivlious story embellshing the fact that coyotes pass through the grapefruit trees in my yards quite often.

I may be old and slow but I would no more confront a coyote with a BB gun then I would try to race my SC against a vette.

And, as Mike caught on, putting a riflescope on a Red Ryder BB rifle would be OVERKILL and self-defeating.

I guess that my sense of humor amuses only me.

Nevertheless, I bid regards to all.

Yep, carbuff was talking about a toy, but I elevated the discussion to adult airguns. And one of those would surely penetrate the skin and draw some blood. Thing is, their energy is low, and most of is is dissipated just getting through the skin. And the pellet is tiny compared to a bullet, so it doesn't do serious tissue damage.

They're not deadly to humans, unless you managed to shoot someone right in the eye or something, and then it would have to penetrate to the brain to do more than blind you. But then, of course, you can poke your eye out running with a pencil. I know, because my mommy always told me so.

Carbuff was weaving a good yarn, and using a little self-deprecating humor in the process. Don't take it all too seriously.

Mike